I Like Eggs

#248: Among Other Things

In my bowl of ramen, I always eat the egg last. I have this habit - some might say 'philosophy' (but that would be extreme. As if egg-eating needed any philosophy) of saving the best for last. I want the last bite, last slurp, last gulp to be the best one. And I want to walk away with that savoury, soft, chalky feel in my mouth. Sometimes, after doing this, I close my eyes... and Vanessa Williams sings - in a very affirming way - "You went and saved the best for last."

Of course, I start with my supposed "comeback" entry with rubbish. That's how it should be. Set expectations low.... then massively over-achieve. That should blow everyone's pants off. Or should I have said, "socks?"

Siva (or Seeva, or Sivah) of NCIS has the misfortune of being the character that can't get her idiomatic expressions right. She's a smart girl. But because of her non-American background, she ends up mangling a lot of those figurative expressions. (Smart cookie, you might say. Or smart biscuit, she'd counter.) And so sometimes, she sounds like an idiot. Or in the rare instance that she actually comes up with something a bit more clever or sensible than the actual idiom, they have a character (Tony) that sets her straight so she can learn the proper way to sound...uhm... American. (I guess we can't have all these immigrants sounding more intelligent than the locals.)

I've learnt to keep my mouth shut whenever I hear someone being a smart*ss. It's hard because I am always tempted to reclaim that role. But I often feel Siva-ish. I understand the context. I have a funny comeback in my head... but I can't translate it quick enough so that it makes sense in English. Or I can force it to make sense... but I fear that the form will be pretty poor. (How many times have we laughed at poor Inday and her love for disfiguring otherwise straightforward phrases?)

And so I sit and wait for the timing to be right. For the opening to be right. For the mood to be right. Then I will throw a clever comeback. Just you wait and see. Siva will get to her egg. She's just sorting out the ramen.